DBT Pros and Cons Skill: Navigating Through Crisis with Mindful Decision-Making

In the realm of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), one of the pivotal skills taught is the “DBT Pros and Cons Skill,” a tool designed to aid individuals in making more deliberate and beneficial decisions, especially in the face of challenging situations. This skill is particularly useful in moments where one needs to determine the most skillful means to achieve a desired outcome, or to decide between two possible courses of action. Let’s deep dive into this skill, explore its utility, and examine how it can be applied to various situations, particularly during moments of intense emotional distress or crisis urges.

Understanding Action Urges

Before dissecting the DBT Pros and Cons Skill, it’s vital to comprehend what an “action urge” is. An action urge can escalate to a crisis level when it is intensely strong, compelling someone to act in ways that might bring immediate relief or satisfaction but are detrimental in the long run. For instance, these urges might push one towards engaging in dangerous, addictive, or harmful behaviors, causing you to lash out at others, or avoid necessary actions that contribute to building a fulfilling life.

Evaluating the DBT Pros and Cons Skill

The DBT Pros and Cons Skill empowers individuals to methodically assess the advantages and disadvantages of acting on these crisis urges versus resisting them. To facilitate a structured analysis, DBT applies a 4-way grid system, allowing for a clear and comprehensive evaluation of the options at hand. This systematic approach helps individuals in weighing their choices against their long-term goals and values, ensuring that their decisions are aligned with the life they aspire to build.

Example Scenario: A Teen’s Conflict

Consider a scenario where a teenager is embroiled in an argument with their mother and feels the urge to say something hurtful, like “I wish you weren’t my mother.” Employing the DBT Pros and Cons Skill in this context involves evaluating the potential outcomes of both yielding to and resisting this urge.

• Pros of Acting on the Urge : The teenager might momentarily feel a sense of satisfaction or relief from expressing their anger directly, believing it to be a form of emotional release or retaliation.
• Cons of Acting on the Urge : The immediate and long-term consequences can be detrimental. It could inflict emotional pain on the mother, damage the relationship irreparably, lead to regret and guilt in the teenager, and negatively impact the teen’s self-esteem.
• Pros of Resisting the Urge : By choosing not to act on the urge, the teenager could maintain a healthier relationship with their mother, avoid long-term regrets, and feel a sense of pride for managing their emotions skillfully.
• Cons of Resisting the Urge : It might be challenging to resist the urge in the moment, requiring the teen to tolerate discomfort and manage intense emotions without the temporary relief that acting on the urge might provide.

The Role of the STOP Skill

In moments when a crisis urge feels overwhelming, the DBT Pros and Cons Skill becomes even more crucial. To effectively use this skill, one can employ the STOP skill – a strategy in DBT that stands for Stop, Take a step back, Observe, and Proceed mindfully. Taking a pause to STOP provides the necessary space to reflect on the pros and cons of the situation, helping individuals to reconnect with their Wise Mind – a concept in DBT that represents an inner state of balanced emotions and rational thought. By doing this, an anyone is able to make a more informed decision that aligns with their long-term goals and values.

Practical Application of the DBT Pros and Cons Skill

Using the DBT Pros and Cons Skill involves more than just a theoretical understanding; it requires practical application in everyday situations. Here’s how you can integrate this skill into your life:

1. Identify the Crisis Urge : Recognize when you are experiencing a strong urge that could lead to unwise actions. This could be anything from the impulse to engage in a heated argument to the temptation to indulge in harmful behaviors.
2. Pause with the STOP Skill : Before reacting, use the STOP skill to halt your immediate response. This pause is crucial for preventing rash decisions.
3. Construct the 4-Way Grid : On a piece of paper or mentally, lay out the pros and cons of acting on the urge and the pros and cons of resisting it. This visual or mental representation can help clarify the potential outcomes of each choice.
4. Evaluate Your Options : Consider each quadrant of the grid carefully. Think about how each action aligns with your long-term goals and values. Which choice will lead to the best outcome for your future?
5. Make a Mindful Decision : After thoroughly evaluating the pros and cons, choose the action that is most in line with your long-term well-being and goals. This decision should come from a place of Wise Mind, where emotional and rational thoughts are balanced.
6. Reflect on the Outcome : After the situation has passed, reflect on the decision you made and its consequences. This reflection can provide valuable insights and reinforce the effectiveness of the DBT Pros and Cons Skill in managing future crises.

Conclusion

The DBT Pros and Cons Skill is an essential component of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, offering a structured way to navigate complex emotional landscapes and make decisions that are in harmony with one’s long-term well-being and aspirations. By consistently evaluating the potential outcomes of our actions, we can steer our lives in a direction that is not only more skillful but also more fulfilling. As we integrate this skill into our daily lives, we become better equipped to face the challenges that come our way, making choices that reflect our true values and goals.