6 Levels of Validation - A DBT Skill

The “6 Levels of Validation DBT Skill” helps you acknowledge another person’s feelings, thoughts, and behaviors in a way that strengthens relationships without needing to agree with or condone their actions. Validation is about recognizing emotions as understandable. For example, if someone didn’t get the job they wanted and feels angry, that’s valid. Punching a wall, however, is not. By focusing on the emotions rather than the behaviors, you create a supportive environment.

Level 1: Paying Attention is about showing you’re fully engaged—making eye contact, nodding, and responding with facial expressions that mirror the conversation.

Level 2: Reflecting Back means summarizing what you’ve heard to confirm your understanding, like saying, “It sounds like you had a rough day, is that right?”

Level 3: Reading Minds involves picking up on nonverbal cues, like noticing someone’s exhaustion and offering to handle dinner when they seem too tired to decide.

Level 4: Understanding requires acknowledging someone’s current feelings in light of their past experiences. If a friend feels judged, you might say, “It makes sense, considering your past experiences with judgmental friendships.”

Level 5: Acknowledging the Valid points out how someone’s emotions make sense in the given situation, such as recognizing the frustration of breaking a brand new phone.

Level 6: Showing Equality is about treating the other person as an equal, avoiding condescension, and validating that their feelings are relatable, like kneeling to a child’s level and saying, “I’d feel that way too.”

Practicing these validation skills helps de-escalate emotions and builds stronger relationships. When someone’s feeling overwhelmed, instead of jumping in with solutions, ask, “Do you want me to just listen or help problem-solve?” You can apply different levels of validation depending on the situation, often combining a few at once to best support the other person.