Ending Relationships - A DBT Skill

Ending a relationship is never easy, but sometimes it’s necessary for your well-being. If a relationship is harmful or blocking your personal growth, it’s important to recognize when it’s time to let go. A destructive relationship can hurt your self-esteem, safety, or happiness, while an interfering one may stop you from reaching important goals. This is where the Ending Relationships DBT Skill comes in.

If the relationship isn’t destructive and there’s hope for improvement, start by problem-solving. This could mean setting boundaries, having an honest conversation, or even working with a therapist. However, when ending the relationship is the best option, it’s important to do it with care. The Ending Relationships DBT Skill encourages using your Wise Mind—balancing both emotions and logic—so you’re not making decisions based on intense feelings alone.

Once you’ve made the decision, use the “COPE AHEAD” skill to prepare. Think through how you’ll handle the situation and any challenges that might come up. When it’s time to talk, be direct and use tools like “DEAR MAN,” “GIVE,” and “FAST” to communicate respectfully. If you still have feelings for the person, practice “Opposite Action” to help you manage your emotions, and always prioritize your safety.

By using the Ending Relationships DBT Skill, you can end a relationship with care, protecting both your emotional health and integrity. It’s a step toward creating a healthier, more fulfilling future.