Radical Acceptance-A DBT Skill

The DBT skill Radical Acceptance is crucial for managing painful events and emotions by fully accepting reality as it is. This skill involves acknowledging the present moment without needing to like, condone, or approve of it. Radical Acceptance is about understanding that this is the reality right now, even if it is difficult or unfair. It is not about approval, compassion, love, or passivity, nor does it mean you do not desire change. The aim is to reduce suffering and increase a sense of freedom by coming to terms with the facts of your life as they are.

Radical Acceptance helps to alleviate the internal struggle that occurs when we resist reality. When we deny reality, we often say things similarly to “this is not okay” or “it shouldn’t be this way,” which can add to our suffering. Instead, you can use phrases such as “it is what it is” or “I don’t like this, but this is the reality right now.” Acceptance can be challenging because it often involves grieving losses, such as the end of a relationship or an injustice. By accepting reality, we release the discomfort we hold in our bodies and avoid the additional suffering that comes with resistance.

Accepting reality is necessary for change. Rejecting reality does not alter it; instead, it keeps you stuck in negative emotions such as unhappiness, anger, or sadness. Acceptance, though often accompanied by sadness, can feel like a burden lifted and allows you to move forward. Use Radical Acceptance when dealing with major life traumas, pain, or difficulties, such as regrettable past actions, breakups, missed opportunities, or family issues. The DBT skill is also useful in everyday distress. For example, being stuck in traffic can trigger an emotional distress.

Remember, you do not have to like something to accept it. Acceptance is the first step towards change, as you cannot change what you do not acknowledge. Radical Acceptance is about ending the internal battle and finding peace with reality.