Willing Hands - A DBT Skill

Willing Hands is a key DBT Skill that helps align the body with the acceptance of reality. This skill involves adopting a specific posture where the hands are unclenched, palms facing upward, and fingers relaxed. Often, clenched hands signal anger or resistance, which stands in opposition to accepting the present moment. Anger tends to drive us toward resisting reality, focusing on what “shouldn’t be,” and motivates us to fight or change situations.

By practicing Willing Hands, you can use the body’s position to signal to your mind that you are ready to accept rather than resist. When standing, you can let your arms hang naturally from your shoulders, either straight or slightly bent at the elbows, with your hands unclenched, palms facing outward, and thumbs pointing to the sides. If you’re sitting, place your hands on your lap or thighs with your palms turned upward, fingers relaxed. While lying down, keep your arms by your sides, turning your palms upward with relaxed fingers.

This physical posture communicates acceptance to your brain, helping you move toward emotional alignment with reality. Through the Willing Hands DBT Skill, you can invite a sense of calm and openness, allowing you to approach difficult emotions with a more mindful and accepting mindset.