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Gottman Method Couples Therapy

The method is based on the concept that a healthy partnership is much like a well-built house with sturdy walls and levels that keep it stable and intact.

The Gottman Method is a form of couples therapy developed by Drs. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman in the 1980s.

The Gottman Method is a research-supported, tool-based therapy. Interventions are designed to help couples strengthen their relationship in three primary areas: creation of shared meaning; friendship; and conflict management.

Some of the tools include managing conflict; turning towards (instead of away from) each other; positive perspectives; sharing fondness and admiration; building love maps; creating shared meaning; and working together to make life dreams come true.

The Four Horsemen

In Gottman work, we look for ways the Four Horsemen are present in your relationship

Gottman Therapy Can Help You If:

The Gottman Method FAQs

Is The Gottman Method Therapy suitable for couples at all relationship stages?

The Gottman Method is a versatile and adaptable therapy approach for couples, making it suitable for partners in all relationship stages. Whether you’re a newly dating couple looking to build a strong foundation, a married couple seeking to strengthen your bond, or a long-term couple facing challenges, this therapy approach can be effective.

For dating couples: Tools are provided for communication, conflict resolution, and building trust, which then helps to create a foundation for a lasting relationship. 

For married couples: Couples engage in enhancing intimacy, addressing marital issues, and reigniting the spark within the relationship.

For long-term relationships: Couples address confronting issues and find new ways to connect.

By fostering respect, affection, and closeness, the Gottman Method helps couples in any stage of their relationship navigate their journey together more effectively, making it a popular choice in couples therapy.

In couples therapy sessions using the Gottman Method, the presence of both partners is crucial. This approach centers on building understanding, respect, and affection within relationships. When both individuals attend a session, it allows for a complete exchange of perspectives, emotions, and experiences. This collaboration between partners is key to developing a shared understanding and addressing relationship issues effectively. 

By applying the Gottman Method to your session, you engage in structured exercises that are aimed at enhancing communication and problem-solving skills, which will only be beneficial when practiced together. These couples therapy sessions also deep dive into each partner’s emotional needs and histories, requiring both partners’ participation for a deeper mutual empathy.

The Gottman Method is versatile and can be conducted both online and in person. This method focuses on enhancing mutual respect, affection, and closeness in relationships. The transition to online sessions has made it available to a wider range of couples, particularly those who might find it challenging to attend in-person sessions due to location, work obligations, or health-related constraints. Online sessions typically follow the same structure and techniques as in-person therapy, ensuring that the quality and effectiveness of the therapy remain high.

Online (virtual) therapy offers benefits such as increased convenience and flexibility. Online sessions allow couples to engage in sessions from the comfort of their own home, which can sometimes create a more relaxed and open atmosphere. However, it’s important to ensure that the chosen online platform is secure and that both partners have a private, uninterrupted space for their sessions. While online therapy can be effective, each couple must consider their specific needs and preferences when deciding between online and in-person sessions.

The Gottman Method stands out from other approaches in couples therapy due to its unique blend of research and practical strategies. This method was created by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, and is considered more than just a therapeutic approach; it’s a journey backed by over four decades of rigorous research. At its heart is the ‘Sound Relationship House’ theory, which guides couples to understand each other better, nurture their mutual respect and affection, and learn to lean into each other, especially during challenging times.

What sets the Gottman Method apart is that it begins with a  thorough assessment of the couple’s relationship. This assessment involves multiple interviews and questionnaires given to the couple, which ensures that the therapy is perfectly tailored to the unique dynamics of the relationship. This custom-fit approach allows for a more effective and focused couples therapy experience.

Another aspect of the Gottman Method that sets it apart is its practicality. For instance, It’s not just about talking through problems, instead, it’s about equipping couples with tangible tools and skills. This ranges from improving communication to resolving conflicts constructively, which then empowers couples to build a stronger, more resilient partnership.

The Gottman Method is a popular approach in couples therapy, known for its effectiveness in improving relationships. Some of the benefits of this approach include:

  1. Enhanced Communication Skills: The focus is on teaching couples how to communicate more effectively by emphasizing the importance of listening to understand, rather than to respond. By listening to understand, partners learn to express themselves clearly and to truly hear what their partner is saying. This in turn reduces misunderstandings and strengthens the bond between partners.
  2. Conflict Resolution: Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, but the Gottman Method provides tools to manage and resolve these conflicts more healthily. This method teaches couples how to approach disagreements without hurting each other by focusing on problem-solving and finding common ground. By shifting the focus of an argument, the frequency and intensity of arguments ultimately reduce, which then will lead to a more peaceful and satisfying relationship.
  3. Deepening Emotional Connection: The Gottman Method also focuses on building a stronger emotional connection between partners. This is done by engaging in various exercises where couples learn to appreciate each other’s needs and values, and also express affection and admiration for one another. Once a couple can deepen their emotional connection, they will enhance intimacy, making the relationship more fulfilling.

We Can Help.

If you or a loved one can benefit from Gottman Method Couples Therapy, we are here to help.