What We Treat
We are only as needy as our unmet needs
We are human and built to connect to others. Yet so many of us feel unconnected and lonely, struggle with lack of intimate relationships or feel unfulfilled with the relationships we have. Relationships may include our intimate partner (or wish to have one), our friendships, and all of the other relationships we may have with family, colleagues, and in the community.
At the Counseling Center Group we are committed to being more than a sounding board that validates these feelings. We are here to navigate, with you, through new ways of building the relationships you most want. We have specific, effective tools to help you with a variety of challenges. We will begin by looking at your ideal relationships, your current situation and your past, with particular attention to noticing patterns. Often we find that the quality of our relationships can be greatly enhanced by the way in which we choose who is in our inner circle.
Where to begin
Four types of Attachment Styles
Anxious Attachment Style
Avoidant Attachment Style
Those with an Avoidant Attachment Style tend to have difficulty committing to relationships. They may be very engaged and excited with a relationship in the very beginning and then quickly begin to start focusing on all of the flaws that their partner has. They tend to keep distance between themselves and their partner and flee or shut down when in conflict. Some tendencies may include: saying (or thinking) you are not ready to commit, yet staying in a relationship with “one foot in and one foot out”; focusing on small imperfections in your partner (and allowing it to get in the way of your relationship); feelings of repulsion toward your partner at times; being open to / or actually dating other people; frequently pulling away when in a relationship.
Disorganized Attachment Style
Secure Attachment Style
At the Counseling Center Group, we believe that loneliness is the biggest epidemic we face at this time.
“The human brain, having evolved to seek safety in numbers, registers loneliness as a threat. The centers that monitor for danger, including the amygdala, go into overdrive, triggering a release of ‘fight or flight’ stress hormones. Your heart rate rises, your blood pressure and blood sugar level increase to provide energy in case you need it. Your body produces extra inflammatory cells to repair tissue damage and prevent infection, and fewer antibodies to fight viruses. Subconsciously, you start to view other people more as potential threats — sources of rejection or apathy — and less as friends, remedies for your loneliness.” – (John Leland, NY Times 2022)
It is important to first decipher between loneliness and being alone. Loneliness is a subjective, painful and unwelcome feeling of lack of companionship. One can feel lonely whether or not they are alone. Loneliness reflects a feeling around the desired versus the actual quantity and quality of our social relationships.
In a world in which we are more “connected” than ever, we actually feel more separate and disconnected. This makes sense, given the values and transient nature of our society. Fortunately, there are practical and tangible ways to create the very connection we most desire. Together we will navigate with you a plan to build the connections you most desire!