Living with a narcissist can be emotionally draining. When that narcissist is someone you share an intimate relationship with, the emotional fallout can be especially difficult to overcome. Learning to cope with these dynamics is essential to surviving a narcissistic relationship and preserving your emotional well-being.
Let’s examine some common traits of narcissistic personality disorder to understand this mental health condition. Keep in mind that only a qualified mental health professional can diagnose this condition, which is outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR).
Spotting Narcissistic Behaviors
People with narcissistic personality disorder often display patterns of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. This can manifest in various ways. While some may exhibit charm and charisma initially, sustaining healthy adult relationships can be challenging for individuals with NPD.
Here are some common indicators of narcissistic personality disorder. You might notice:
- An inflated sense of self-importance.
- Fantasies about unlimited success, beauty, power, or love.
- A belief that they’re special and unique and can only be understood by other special people.
- A constant need for excessive admiration and attention.
- A sense of entitlement (expecting special favors and automatic compliance with their expectations).
- Exploitation of others to achieve personal goals.
- A lack of empathy (unwilling to recognize or identify with others’ needs or feelings).
- Envy of others (or believing that others envy them).
- Arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes.
Remember that these signs alone don’t necessarily confirm NPD. However, if these patterns persist across various aspects of their life and negatively affect their relationships, seeking professional help is important.
Protecting Yourself While Surviving a Narcissistic Relationship
Often those on the receiving end of narcissistic behavior are left to pick up the pieces. It’s a lot like suffering from secondhand smoke—only you’re absorbing toxic behavior.
Sometimes, getting out of a relationship like this isn’t immediately possible or even desired. This may be due to having children, religious beliefs, or financial reasons.
Sadly, severing contact entirely isn’t always an option, like when a parent, coworker, or another person you’re obligated to interact with displays narcissistic behaviors. If you’re looking for ways to cope with these relationships until you’re in a better position to change your situation, these tips can be really useful in surviving a narcissistic relationship.
Focus on Yourself
It’s important to remember that you can’t change someone with NPD or narcissistic tendencies. You can only change your own response to their behavior. This starts by setting clear boundaries about what behavior you find unacceptable and how you expect to be treated.
Be prepared—those with narcissistic behaviors don’t typically have a balanced sense of their impact on others. Folks with narcissistic behaviors may be oblivious to how their actions have hurt you. This may be due to brain differences (as some research has observed) or a diminished ability to feel empathy.
Unfortunately, it’s difficult for them to admit fault, mainly due to deeply rooted feelings of shame and humiliation associated with vulnerability. When challenged, they’re more likely to lash out or deflect.
Don’t accept the blame for their behaviors. Their issues run deep, and you are only responsible for managing your own reactions and behaviors in response to them. You can’t “fix” them.
This means making a conscious effort not to internalize hurtful words and learning to recognize their behavior as a reflection of their struggles rather than their self-worth. This can feel nearly impossible without supportive people in your life who can provide reality checks, help you maintain perspective, and boost you up when you’re feeling depleted.
Embrace Forgiveness
It can be incredibly challenging to let go of resentment, but this doesn’t mean you’re condoning unacceptable behavior. You’re choosing to let go of negativity to prioritize your own well-being. You may need to start with baby steps—forgiving smaller transgressions first—to strengthen this emotional muscle, but offering yourself this gift is well worth the effort.
Self-forgiveness is also vital, allowing you to move on from the experience. You deserve the same compassion you would offer others. If you tend to be particularly hard on yourself, consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional. They can equip you with helpful tips and offer valuable support as you navigate this process.
Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy
When dealing with narcissistic behaviors, boundaries are essential for your well-being and emotional sanity. By outlining your limits and establishing clear expectations, you’re making a conscious effort to safeguard your energy and reclaim your personal power. But be prepared – these won’t be met with acceptance. Be ready to hold those boundaries firmly—this demonstrates you’re serious about protecting yourself, no matter how much they might resist or attempt to overstep those limits.
It’s important to recognize that your well-being is not selfish. Consistently prioritizing your mental health is essential, especially when you’re surviving a narcissistic relationship. Be prepared for potential emotional fallout from trying to detach from an unhealthy relationship dynamic. This could look like the other person:
- Becoming overly critical of your choices.
- Turning others against you.
- Minimizing your feelings and accomplishments.
- Becoming passive-aggressive or punishing.
Having healthy support networks is essential, especially if you haven’t extricated yourself completely from this person’s influence. Surround yourself with loving, supportive friends and family, consider joining support groups to connect with others who’ve had similar experiences, or explore online therapy to build healthy coping skills and learn how to cope with narcissists.
Navigating a relationship with someone who exhibits narcissistic traits presents unique challenges. This often leaves individuals feeling emotionally abused, questioning their reality, and doubting their self-worth. Remember, protecting yourself emotionally is vital while you develop a course of action for a healthier relationship.
If you’re navigating the challenges of surviving a narcissistic relationship, support is within reach. Contact the Counseling Center Group to start your healing journey today.
Surviving a narcissistic relationship involves establishing and enforcing firm boundaries to safeguard your mental and emotional health. Engaging in activities that make you feel good can replenish your energy and reaffirm your sense of self-worth.
This isn’t a one-time fix but an ongoing practice of setting limits and reclaiming your power. If you need extra support surviving a narcissistic relationship, the Counseling Center Group is here to guide you toward lasting strength and self-confidence.
