Today, we’re diving into a valuable skill within Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that’s perfect for getting through challenging times without letting emotions take control. The skill is called Self-Soothing, part of the DBT Distress Tolerance skill set, and it’s a crisis survival tool you can turn to when things feel too overwhelming to manage.
When your emotions are running high, and you’re tempted to make quick, impulsive decisions that might worsen your situation, Self-Soothing Techniques can help you respond mindfully and effectively. Let’s explore what Self-Soothing is, how to use it, and the impact it can have on your emotional well-being.
What is Self-Soothing in DBT?
Self-Soothing is a Distress Tolerance Crisis Survival skill in DBT designed to help you weather life’s storms by focusing on your five senses. The goal of Self-Soothing is to ease intense emotional pain without making things worse.
Self-Soothing Techniques are intended for short-term, highly stressful situations that create an immediate sense of urgency. For instance, if you feel an overwhelming urge to act on intense emotions—like anger, anxiety, or sadness—using Self-Soothing helps you gain some space from those feelings so you can make a more thoughtful choice.
However, it’s essential to remember that Self-Soothing Techniques aren’t designed for daily problem-solving. Rather, they’re for crisis situations when emotions feel unmanageable.
The objective of DBT is to transform your relationship with your emotions, so you can experience them fully without becoming overwhelmed. But in those moments when emotions feel overpowering, Self-Soothing offers a lifeline.
Recognizing When to Use Self-Soothing Techniques
So, when should you use Self-Soothing? It’s crucial to assess if the situation genuinely qualifies as a crisis—something that is both immediate and temporary, creating a sense of pressure or urgency.
Perhaps you’re feeling an intense need to act on emotion, but doing so might lead to regret or negative consequences. You may feel overwhelmed by a responsibility you can’t escape, like needing to meet a deadline or handle a demanding situation, even though you’re emotionally stretched thin.
In DBT, these times of high stress and crisis are perfect for Self-Soothing Techniques. Instead of reacting impulsively, you can take a moment, breathe, and apply Self-Soothing to calm your mind and body, giving yourself the gift of time to think and respond more wisely.
How to Begin: Starting with the STOP Skill
In DBT, we often use the STOP Skill before engaging in other Distress Tolerance skills, including Self-Soothing. STOP stands for:
- Stop
- Take a step back
- Observe
- Proceed mindfully
By using STOP, you interrupt your immediate reaction to the situation, inserting a moment of pause. This small but powerful step allows you to evaluate your emotions and choose a more effective response. Once you’ve stopped, you can then use Self-Soothing Techniques to further calm yourself and gather clarity.
Engaging Your Senses: The Core of Self-Soothing
Self-Soothing Techniques rely on engaging your five senses: Vision, Hearing, Smell, Taste, and Touch. Each sense provides a way to ground yourself in the present moment, easing distress and helping you feel more in control. Let’s walk through how to use each sense for self-soothing during times of crisis.
1. Vision
Using vision as a Self-Soothing Technique involves focusing on what you see, allowing beauty and relaxation to enter your mind through your eyes.
- Stargazing: At night, take a few moments to gaze at the stars. This can bring a sense of wonder and calm.
- Nature Walks: Spend time in a park or any natural setting. Notice the colors of trees, flowers, or the sky. Nature’s beauty can be both soothing and grounding.
- People Watching: If you’re in a bustling area, observe people around you. This can help shift your focus outward.
- Browsing: Window shopping or browsing stores can help relax your mind.
By immersing yourself in visual stimulation, you can break the cycle of distressing thoughts and allow some mental space to breathe.
2. Hearing
Sound is a powerful sensory tool. With hearing, Self-Soothing can be as simple as focusing on pleasant sounds around you.
- Listen to Music: Find soothing or upbeat music to lift your mood or calm your mind.
- Nature Sounds: Birds chirping, waves crashing, or rain can create a sense of peace.
- Mindful Listening: Sit quietly and take in all the sounds you can hear around you. This helps you be present, offering a break from internal stress.
Listening mindfully helps you detach from distressing emotions, finding calm in the external world instead.
3. Smell
The sense of smell has a unique connection to emotions, as certain scents can evoke calm or pleasant memories.
- Candles or Essential Oils: Light a candle or use essential oils with calming scents like lavender or chamomile.
- Coffee Aroma: Take a deep breath of freshly ground coffee beans for a comforting experience.
- Flowers or Nature: Step outside and smell flowers or the fresh air, reconnecting with natural scents.
By focusing on smells, you remind your body of comforting associations, allowing you to feel a sense of security and ease.
4. Taste
Using taste as a Self-Soothing Technique can help bring your mind into the present. Focusing on flavors and textures can momentarily ease emotional tension.
- Mindful Eating: Eat something you love slowly and intentionally. Let yourself truly savor it.
- Gum or Candy: Chew gum or suck on candy, paying close attention to the taste.
- Sampling Treats: Try different foods, like ice creams or fruit, and engage fully with the flavors.
Eating mindfully gives you a break from intense emotions by grounding you in the sensory experience of taste.
5. Touch
Touch can be an incredibly grounding way to self-soothe, especially when emotions feel overwhelming.
- Take a Bath or Shower: The warm water can soothe and relax your body, providing a sense of calm.
- Pet a Dog or Cat: If you have a pet, spend time petting them. Animal companionship can be deeply comforting.
- Soft Textures: Hold or wear something soft—a cozy blanket or fuzzy socks.
- Outdoor Breeze: Take a walk and feel the wind or sun on your skin. Connecting with the physical world can create a sense of presence.
Touching physical objects or feeling temperature changes helps redirect attention from distressing emotions to comforting sensations.
Why Self-Soothing Techniques Work
Self-Soothing Techniques allow us to care for ourselves without needing anything external to change immediately. Engaging with your senses during difficult moments can help calm your nervous system, slow down racing thoughts, and create a feeling of peace. By fully focusing on your surroundings, you’re also creating distance from painful emotions, which allows for perspective.
Moreover, Self-Soothing Techniques foster self-kindness. When we’re in crisis, our instinct might be to be hard on ourselves or feel defeated, but self-soothing shifts that focus to gentleness, reminding us that we deserve comfort and calm, even in the toughest moments.
Using Self-Soothing as Part of Your DBT Practice
In DBT, Self-Soothing Techniques are only one piece of the puzzle, but they’re a powerful one. As you practice Self-Soothing, you’ll likely notice that your ability to handle emotions increases. This skill reinforces that you can tolerate distressing situations without acting impulsively, which is a vital step toward emotional resilience.
Over time, DBT skills help you develop a new relationship with your emotions—one where you can experience them fully, without needing to escape. But remember, when emotions feel too intense, Self-Soothing is always there to help you manage the moment effectively.
Discover how Self-Soothing Techniques DBT skill can help you manage distress effectively and find calm amidst challenges. Contact the Counseling Center Group today to learn more and start building resilience in moments of stress.
Life brings all kinds of challenges, and it’s natural to feel overwhelmed from time to time. Self-Soothing Techniques in DBT offer an essential resource for navigating difficult times.
By focusing on what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch, you create a mindful space between yourself and your emotions, giving yourself the gift of peace and self-compassion. Remember to use these techniques in moments of high stress, knowing that by engaging your senses, you’re choosing to respond in a way that brings calm, not more chaos.
So next time life feels like it’s spinning too fast, take a moment to Self-Soothe. You’ll be surprised at the calm you can create, even in the midst of a storm.
If you’re interested in learning more about Self-Soothing Techniques DBT skill and how it can bring comfort during challenging moments, reach out to the Counseling Center Group—our team is here to support you on this journey.
